it has been 7 months since the last post of mine...lot of time has passed by...nd lot of things in my world have changed drastically....the innings at reliance has been mixed bag of experience...there are some things which i still cherish in these six months...like the gala welcome that we got when we joined the company...the induction programme...nd then royal treatment that the whole bunch of senior management is giving us....there are some bad things as well...the friction with my senior which was uncalled for...which i wud say is a product of reliance culture and the way things work over here...nd then at point my frustration which my work profile nd the chaotic work environment...i still vaguely remember how i walked in to my boss room nd told him ki i wanted to speak to him personally...i vented out my frustration nd every word that i uttered to my boss had this implicit truth that i was on the verge of quitting the company...nd at the end of the day..i didnt...i still dont know if it was a wise decision...i feel it is too early to decide some drastic...rather i keep telling myself that i shud get used to work in this kind of environment...coz it will help me in the long run...atleast in realising the value of management in the long run...there arent any answers...i knw..it is more of a mental confusion....too much education spoils the peace of our mind...isnt it??

i thoroughly enjoyed my initial months in makers and tulsiani...all the management trainees worked from there...so in those terms..comfort level was always there right from the initial days...nd i made a hell lot of friends...life was rather smooth...rather i was having one heck of a great time there...freaking out for lunches with people...and then endless bakar in the canteen during the evenings...i just wish those days came back again...how much i loved them...nd freaking out to all sorts of places during weekends...moments to cherish forever....

had a tough time searching for a flat....initially i thought i wud move in with sagare...but then i got this strong feelin ki things wont work out with him and major...so finally moved in with potti...nd senthil too joined us...the flat was decent...nd spacious...half my sundays during my initial months were spent on setting up things in our flat...nd after a endless deliberation we finally decided to go in for a fridge nd a tv...nd it seems that it is paying off well...i got along well with potti nd senthil...except for some initially misunderstandings...things worked out fine...had one heck of a great time with senthil...those late night discussions with senthil...bitching abt colleagues...nd then gossiping abt girls in our workplace...nd then pulling his legs...nd subjecting him to torture of a different kind...playing all those remix songs at the full decibel....there are thousand other things...we got along very well...majorly because he cud subject himself to my stupid sense of humour nd my quirky way of thinking...lol...nd then one fine day...senthil left me fending myself all alone..he moved into a new flat...his contention...he needed a room for himself...it has been a long time since...i have had very rare instances of having those long bakars...but wenever i catch up with him during commute or in the office...i dont let him go so easily...nd now he is leaving for bangalore....there is a void...nd lets see if i have someone else to fill that up...:)..ofcourse potti is there...the man of principles...the one man who feels women are to be loved not to be lusted for...:))..i completely agree....lol..that sums it up i guess...he too is keepin busy with wat he calls a steady relationship...(friendship is wat he defines it..)...with some punjabi kudi..:)....he has been a great flatmate of mine....

commuting back nd forth to office has been a pain right from day one...it had to be...mumbai is known for that...there were times wen i wud feel so frustrated..ofcourse i am helpless...some compromises ought to be made...nd i can always do away with a comfortable life...have somehow managed for half the year...nd looks like i can survive some more time over here before giving it up...:)

initial days i felt a lot homesick..because i could feel the pinch of living this life all alone with no relatives or no close friends..but have got used to it slowly...that is why i went to chennai in july nd again during diwali...but now it seems like i can manage it..waise i do miss my family at times...but this has to be it....some compromises ought to be made...my family is calling me back...but am not planning to go...am living my life over here to the fullest...

so all was going well...wen i decided finally ki enuf was enuf nd i planned to switch a different vertical...i had a lot of deliberation with my colleagues and the MTs...nd then i decided to take the plunge...it was one week of full tension...i dont know...watever had to happend just happened...

so here i am in worli...sitting in a cabin...yup...my boss has given me a nice little cabin till the time the original owner comes back...nd for the first time i have no work in hand..so thought it the best time to again start blogging...life has been kind of hectic over here...last week our team had the presentation with the chairman and head of retail business...nd i was given responsibility to put it all together..nd i had 3 days...to run after the dozen or so teams to submit things..and then making a 100 slide ppt...it all went well..my boss was happy...except that he said ki i must improve my standards of ppt making skills...wat else i cud in such a short notice...:)

some random thoughts running at the back of my mind...one...my life's purpose...i dont know if it is going to hold water after 3-4 years...sometimes i feel lost out..coz am not able to connect to it at times...or is it just a facade or a mask of selflessness...i really dont know....nd i at times am skeptic if the corporates are goin to add any value to me...two...relationships...my failure in keeping up with them...all these days nd years i have always yearned for good friends for me to keep company...but now at this point of time..i feel ki i have had so many people coming into my life...but it was me who never tried to build up or carry forward the relationship further...nd this new office..i have hardly any friends...coz i dont have a team as such...three...am i enjoying my life to the fullest...this has been running at the back of my mind for the past three days...this is because things have changed a lot since my nariman point days...am spending more time at work...commuting is hellish nd takes up a lot of time...nd then spend the rest of time reading boooks...four...something needs to be done abt my physique..better late than never...i have been on the receiving end with people making all sorts of comments on my build...i just wish i cud put on some kilos of weight for me to look better....

i found this below quote in a website...good one..

"A friend is someone who will catch you when you fall, dry your tears and tell you it will be all right, pretend to be happy just to cheer you up, never leave you by yourself, attempt to talk to you at least once a day no matter what, make you laugh when you're sad, call back if you hang up on them, make everything you two do together into something fun no matter how boring it is, always remind you of your inside jokes, finish your sentences, think the same way you do, follow you wherever you go, stop you from doing something stupid or hurting yourself, and they're always willing to give up something that means a lot to them because they can be sure you'll always be there in return, and because to them you'll always mean more than you can imagine."

good for nothing....am i one?

someone save me from going insane...my life is out of gear courtesy my current unemployed status...before going any further need to pen down three important landmark events in my life in the recent past which reinforces the belief in me that i have all along been having right from my childhood days and that people around me have along been saying...that i am destined for greater things in life...:)

******
getting late..will continue this some other day very soon...if and only i can overcome the listlessness and laziness that has enveloped me in the past few weeks....

aye saala...abhi abhi...:)

Mujme kahi....hui subah...:)

aye saala
abhi abhi huaa yaqeen
ki aag hai mujh mein kahi
hui subaah main chal gaya
suraj ko main nigal gaya
jo gumshuda-sa khwaab tha
voh mil gaya voh khil gaya
dhuaan chhataa khula gagan mera
nayi dagar naya safar mera
jo ban sake tu hamsafar mera
nazar mila zara...

a truly inspirational song...

am back coz i am bored...:)

here are some quotes i came across in the last one hour...thought i would put it here acting on sumit's advice....

You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life together, but you are only real friends when you also cried together.

and do i agree with the above one??...ofcourse not..there were two instances when the above thing happened..the occasion was one my eserve farewell and two my chennai farewell to do mba...they didnt even find time to call me up wen i was in chennai...all these days...finally wen i msged them they called up...and their reasoning for the delay in getting touch all these days was the fact that i didnt drop a mail this time informing them that i am coming to chennai for a big break....

talking abt these instances i have felt that i have changed a lot as compared to wat i was six months back...i am leading a rather austere way of life...wat with no mobile of my own, no two wheeler, no internet, and no pc at home..am travelling more by buses and these bus journeys sometimes on footboard remind me of my college days. and all these things i am enjoying it as compared to the past wen i used to get irritated and frustrated very soon....plus there is more...this time i told no one that i am coming back to chennai except very close friends or the ones with whom i keep chatting regularly on yahoo...pata nahi why...yesterday wen i went to the ashram to have a session with the kids..they were all saying the same...physically i am looking more thin, worn out and tired and my approach towards them has changed in ways more than one for the better!!!!...surprising.

the confusion lies in the fact that i am asking myself a hundred times a day as to why and how did this happen...

one amusing thing i wanted to add...my new hairstyle has till now only got negative reviews..:)... the hairstyle was out of compulsion and not out of interest or choice..:)..my efforts at trying to link my hairstyle to madhavan's hairstyle in ayutha ezuthu have till now met with a more than just a no-no...

the thief story is still pending...will try to pen it wen i am in calicut for the convocation...also i am on a massive weight gain programme...this one deserves a post...and i am clueless as to where all this is going to..since my weight(i checked it yesterday) is still the same as it was a month ago...:)

Changing hairstyles....

the past 10 days have not been so eventful but two things would stand out one my trip to tirupati not for getting the almighty's blessings but rather the sacrifice in terms of shaving my head which this time has been devoid of the comments by my batchmates of the fit or rather the misfit with my face and my personality. secondly for three days i dragged on with a novel by john grisham which was by far the crappiest novel i have ever read..thought of writing a review..but since i dont have a pc with me now, i had to miss out on this one. and then there were other things too...the never end chatter with my mom and bhabhi aiding me in killing time and then my efforts at getting a pc on rent till now yielding no results.

i had grand plans when i landed on chennai, a trekking trip..which i had to cancel or rather postpone due to my state of physique or health. in terms of health, this is one thing which is at the top of my mind in the past 10 days. i have been at the receiving end in the past 4 months with people calling me names like skeleton, camel etc. i thought maybe once i get my hands on to the home food things will change. but it seems it is going to be rough ride getting back those 12 kgs which i lost post surgery. i had other plans too..like joining salsa classes, doing something abt my dad's business, then becoming a free lancer to economic times and the most recent one being taking up a rural development project with some ngo for a month or so before joining reliance. and not to forget get mastership in reiki. almost all of these plans seem to be on a non starter mode primarily for the reasons like my unaiding physique and absence of a pc at home.

something interesting happened in the last three days which is the topic of discussion day in and day out with my mother and sister in law....a thief tried to break in and fortunately my odd sleeping cycles kept him away...will write the story the next time around...quite amusing it was...

End of a painful chapter in my life...

two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and i hope that will make all the difference.
- Robert Frost

The above quote sums up the what surprisingly was an easy decision for me..IBM was an tempting offer for me...and it also promised me a fat pay package...but still i went in for reliance over rpg and ibm...i know the reasons...this is what i had wanted right from the time i got in here....hope i have a good time out there in reliance...

away from home will be difficult....will continue this some other day...:)

calling my angels...

it is that point of your career when you feel like cursing for all the things that you missed out (atleast it seems so...) knowing fully well that wen the time comes it is going to cost you dear. and all these days i was procrastinating to the extreme which in a way could have prevented all this from being repeated. again i have messed up or rather i shud say i have fallen short of my expectations. the latter would be more apt provided i take this exercise to redefine my capabilities and improvement areas.

i havent felt so desperate in my life, my heart saying go for it and my mind refusing to cooperate. it has happened to me in the past, what makes it so difficult is that it is barely 48 hours to the beginning of final placement and i am still convincing my mind that some amount of preparation would land me in a big company. adding to this desperation, am really pissed off at the scene for the finance people like us who have a very few options from which to choose.

trying to get around this problem...am pretty much ok....i know i need a jerk..like the one which happened in patni gd...just have an inkling that this carefree attitude will prove to be costly for me...thank god IBM happened...or else it would have been a one hell of a time for me...

this will pass...very soon...:)